"Hey elephants you’re so cute and smart and awesome. Why you gotta be pregnant for 22 months, that’s crazy! And then you only have one kid. If you were more like cows, you might have taken us over by now. Little did you know, but the greatest evolutionary advantage: being useful to humans… Elephants, if you just inserted yourselves into human life the way cows did, you could have used your powers and intelligence to form secret elephant societies, conspiring against the humans, and then you could have risen up and destroyed us and made an awesome elephant world with elephant cars and elephant planes. It would have been so great, but no! You gotta be pregnant for 22 months, and then have just one kid, it’s so annoying! Best wishes, John Green."
- An Open Letter to Elephants, John Green. (via pages394)